Political Fix (16 February, 2017)

Hey California! Don’t Let the Door Hit You On The Ass On Your Way Out

Why are Californians so different from the rest of the country? Is it because we are more likely than the other states to kiss on the first date or go out with someone of a different ethnicity? Is it because California has the three most well-read cities in the country? Is it because we are notoriously the worst drivers in snow, as many an Oregonian or Washingtonian can attest to?

The differences between California and the rest of the country exploded onto the national scene during the presidential election. Donald Trump won the Electoral College but lost the popular vote, mainly because of California. Hilary Clinton received 4.3 million more votes in the state than Mr. Trump.

According to the latest survey from the Public Policy Institute of California (PPIC) Mr. Trump’s disapproval rating in California is 60%, and only 30% of Californians approve of his performance. And the rift has only gotten deeper with each executive order.

According to Calbuzz “Californians’ policy preferences are deeply at odds with the new federal direction on abortion access, climate change, health insurance, and undocumented immigrants,” said pollster Mark Baldassare, PPIC president and CEO.

According to the PPIC survey, 85% of Californians believe there should be a pathway to legality for those immigrants. Only 16% of Californians favor outright repeal of the ACA. 65% of Californians see climate change as a major threat, and 63% favor the state’s making its own policies and agreements governing carbon emissions and climate change. 71% of Californians say the government should not interfere with a woman’s right to choose, while only 27% want stricter controls.

Lets add lax gun control, the travel ban, the wall, colluding with Russia, weakening the Environmental Protection Agency, dismantling our public schools, stagnating the minimum wage, falsely alleging that 3 to 5 million people voted illegally……well you get the picture.

This begs the question, should California stay in the union or leave?

A citizen’s initiative that will most likely make it on the 2018 ballot will ask Californians if they want to leave the United States. If that advisory initiative passes, a special election would be called in the spring of 2019 calling for California’s independence.

According to Yes California, “As the sixth largest economy in the world, California is more economically powerful than France and has a population larger than Poland. Point by point, California compares and competes with countries, not just the 49 other states. In our view, the United States of America represents so many things that conflict with Californian values, and our continued statehood means California will continue subsidizing the other states to our own detriment, and to the detriment of our children.”

Realistically speaking, it’s not like California can actually leave the United States, but it’s fun to talk about. I also don’t think Oklahoma would be crying alligator tears if California exited the union.

Even if we could leave, maybe it would it be better for our state to work from the inside.

Governor Jerry Brown has tasked California Attorney General Javier Becerra and special legislative counsel Eric Holder, the former US Attorney General under President Obama, to protect California’s interests in key areas where Mr. Trump’s executive orders and policies conflict with the core ethics of Californians.

So California can fight from the inside, leave the union, or maybe a major earthquake will break it off from the rest of the country and the question would be moot.

The National Earthquake Council said that the San Andreas Fault was “locked, loaded and ready to roll.”

The San Andreas Fault runs from the Salton Sea in Southern California to San Francisco, meaning the two urban areas and the Central Coast could break off from the continental United States and become their own island.

And that’s probably exactly where Oklahoma thinks California belongs.

Who Needs a Psychic When We Have The Simpsons?

Did you know the Simpsons predicted that Donald Trump would be president? The episode predicting his rise to power first aired in 2000. Bart Simpson had a vision of the future with his sister Lisa becoming president. She was sitting at the desk in the Oval Office and declared to her staff that they were inheriting a country in bankruptcy after Donald Trump’s tenure as Commander-in-Chief.

Then, in a 2012 episode, the Simpsons predicted this year’s Super Bowl performance by Lady Gaga. In this episode, “Lisa Goes Gaga,” it shows Lady Gaga jumping from the ledge of the stadium to the stage held by heavy cables.

It seems that such prophesies are regular for the Simpsons and South Park. In a 2010 episode of South Park an engine fire lead to the electric toilets not working on a Carnival Cruise and the episode spent the rest of the show satirizing the passengers’ potty travails. The same incident happened in 2013 when a Carnival Cruise had an engine fire and lost power off of the Mexican coast. As a result the toilets started overflowing and the guests had to resort to pooping in plastic bags. There have been a string of cruise ship mishaps since, but the Carnival Cruise incident was the first.

South Park then aired a show where Osama Bin Laden was killed in October 2010 after being shot in the head by a special forces Commando. The real Bin Laden died eight months later, after being shot in the forehead by a Navy SEAL.

The following are some predictions for 2017, found on-line and made by “experts.” To start, corrupt energy firms will cause an environmental catastrophe and a dome will have to be built over the contaminated site. Also, it will become illegal to teach evolution in schools, and Prohibition will return to several states in the US.

One of the more serious predictions is that a top British doctor predicts that President Trump’s grueling schedule and being over-weight will lead to a potentially fatal heart attack when he enters the White House.

I think I will stick to the real experts, The Simpsons. They say that one day there will be a female president, so it must be true.

And Finally…..

I looked down on the cigarette butts in the arm rest of our family car, and realized I didn’t care. I didn’t care about the clothes on the floor, stains on the tile, or the unmade bed. There wasn’t anything I wanted to buy, I didn’t want to go out to eat, or go to Starbucks.

I looked at my clothes and realized I had been wearing the same outfit for two weeks. I actually had been wearing two outfits. One for home that I rolled into when I got out of bed, and the second I wore when I had to leave the house.

When it was time to go out, I would walk into my closet and step into a pair of pants on the floor and then shimmy into a shirt sweater combo. If it was raining the pearled material of my sweater would be hidden by my bright green rain coat.

Only once did I take pause to evaluate what I was wearing, then realized no one notices. Even my clothes-conscious high-schooler, Mercedes, never noticed. We were at the gym and I had thrown my sweater next to the piece of equipment I was using. She asked whose sweater was on the ground. I said its mine and I have been wearing it for weeks.

“Oh, I’ve never seen it,” she said.

I thought for a while that maybe I was depressed. Then I heard Mercedes and her boyfriend, Brendon, giggle on the couch. It dawned on me that I cared a lot more about life than I had realized. I was just living a new normal.

I remembered when I was broke I made a list of all of the things with which I was blessed. Like a good box of chocolates, some things in my life were not free. But the most important things in my life could not be bought.

I’ve always been healthy and you can’t buy good health. Taking a deep breath, going for a bike ride, sleeping soundly, running after your dog are things healthy people do. And if you don’t have your health it doesn’t matter what you own.

Equally on my list was healthy babies. Having uncomplicated births ending in a healthy newborn in my arms, five times over, can only be described as a gift from God.

I worked for the March of Dimes and I know how rare that is.

Then there is a sense of humor. You cannot buy a sense of humor. Everyone in my family is funny. Though my youngest son doesn’t know why he is funny, the results are the same and every time we sit around the dinner table we laugh.

Neither can you buy talent. My daughters can sing, I can string a line or two together of prose, and my second oldest son can draw. Before his health deteriorated he used to draw this paper’s cartoon. My youngest son has self published several CDs of his original music and can play every instrument without formal instruction.

My “new normal” has been the result of a difficult four years capped by my second son spending eight nights in the ICU. Quietly sitting in his room holding his hand it was painfully obvious just how very little one needs and what is truly important. Your health, children to keep things real, a sense of humor and laughter make a Prime Membership with amazon.com almost silly.

At the end of the day I realized that not picking out fresh outfits every morning wasn’t a sign of depression. It was a sign that I had found peace.

On Valentine’s Day my husband slips me a kiss and a box of See’s Candy. I eat my chocolates while wearing what I wore the day before and smile as I remember the greatest thing of all on my list that money can’t buy – and that is love.

Happy Valentine’s Day with many happy returns.

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